Come on in... pull up a chair.
Excuse the mess - I'm having my profile renovated.
Here, let me move this pile of cliched phrases and old photos so you can sit down.
They're not all outdated though - some of them are very recent.
Anyway I haven't changed that much.
Sometimes I have a beard, sometimes not - I'm easy.
So - what about you? (No I don't mean you have a beard - I hope not anyway).
What, you're just window-shopping?
Well... okay I'll tell you a bit about me first then.
Now where shall I start?
I'd like to say I'm just an ordinary guy... but I don't think I am really coz I'm not interested in football or hanging out in pubs, and I couldn't be bothered with TV - though I'm ok with the odd movie or Netflix series, and various videos on Youtube.
I'm more interested in music, books, writing stories, and reading them too, friends and conversation. I sometimes go metal-detecting but I'm not a geek.
I'd like us to go away for weekend breaks or country drives to a coffee shop or see a play at the theatre or go for a cycle or a walk on a beach/hills/forest or wherever we decide to explore. (I have a few places on my hit list).
But yeh, sometimes it's good just to stay home and chill. I'm open to suggestion. I'm more spontaneous than organised.
I'm in good health - all parts in working order - I like to walk a couple of miles every day. I'm quite practical and handy with diy and gardening and I'm capable of rustling up a tasty meal.
I'm looking for a decent bird to enjoy fun times with. Someone I'm attracted to and is attracted to me. Someone who has their own interests as I do, but whom I think about a lot and look forward to being with, and who wants to be with me, to go places with, to do things together. Someone to talk to, to share trips, holidays, ideas, dreams, laughter and make memories with.
Well that's enough about me... thanks for staying awake ;-)
But it's not all about me,me,me... what about you,you,you - what's your story?
* * *
Yes - I'm back!
And to celebrate I'm holding a prize draw - it's absolutely FREE to ENTER!!!
One lucky winner will be invited to meet me for a coffee (or drink of their choice).
Five runners up will each receive a signed photograph of me enjoying a large cappuccino.
The winner will be notified in writing.
To enter simply complete the following sentence - in five words or more.
"I'd like to meet Pensworth for coffee because..."
Note: Before entering see Terms & Conditions.
Q - Will I have to pay for my own drink?
A - No (but if you insist, I'll have a large one).
Q - Can I bring my granny?
A - I'd rather you didn't.
Q - Can I claim travel expenses?
A - No, but I may drop you at a bus stop.
Q - May I record our date and post it on YouTube?
A - Don't be silly.
Q - If I can't make it can I send someone else?
A - No - sorry (Especially if it's your granny).
Q - Is this the final question?
A - It appears so.
*Terms & Conditions
Entries are limited to one per household.
To be eligible to enter this prize draw you must be over 45 and have your own eyebrows.
* * *
Funky Chick wanted for fab bloke.
Hi, my name’s I’d rather not say. I live at I’d rather not say, and work as I’d rather not say.
I’m looking for an I’d rather not say kind of a gal to join me for all sorts of I’d rather not say type of shenanigans.
I have varied interests including history, archaeology, conspiracy theories, laughing and wiggling my ears, as well as more serious activities such as I’d rather not say, music, comedy, walks, drives, cycles, theatre, cinema, coffee (scones optional), wine, watching the odd film or box set and exploring the countryside – but not necessarily in that order.
My hobbies include writing, reading, hopping, metal-detecting and I’d rather not say.
I would like a lady to join me for day trips, weekend breaks and holidays to such destinations as I’d rather not say, I’d rather not say and I’d rather not say – to name just a few.
So if you’re a fun bird who’s got that certain I’d rather not say about you, then don’t hesitate to tell me. Unless you’d rather not say.
* * *
The four Rs...
Reading, Writing and rock n roll, baby.
Do you like reading? Great, coz I need someone to read my stories (and there are plenty of them) and massage my ego - eh, I mean give me feedback.
Most of them have a twist, so that should keep you guessing. Get ready for a white-knuckle ride, on my latest roller-coaster of a page-turning, blockbuster.
You could be my own personal critic – give it to me straight – I can take it. Who knows, when you realise what a fab guy I am, you might become my best friend, confidante, lover, joke-laugher-at …?
Do you also write? Of course that’s not a prerequisite, but if you can formulate a coherent sentence that would be handy. Anything else would be a bonus – like cookery skills for instance? Otherwise you may have to put up with my limited repertoire.
In our spare time we could sail away in the motorhome, and pitch up on a distant shore (The Highlands or Islands perhaps?) Just imagine waking to the distant mooing of sheep, the bleating of cattle, the smell of fresh coffee bubbling on the stove. After breakfast we’d climb a hill, walk along a beach or have a mosey around the nearest town.
But wait – I hear you say - this is all very nice but I don’t even know you! Well fear not, for references of my good character are available. In fact, here are just a few of the dozens of testimonials I have on file:
“… such a gent, kind and considerate… insisted on holding the door open for me – and I didn’t even want to go; there was a force nine gale outside!”
Ethel Cringe (Mrs)
“… best guy you could hope to meet… tall (ish) dark (under the grey) handsome (if you use a white stick.) He always put me first… first to find my purse… first to wash the dishes… first to get up and put the kettle on…”
Chardonnay Whyte [Okay, can I have the fiver now?]
“Great bloke. Couldn’t fault him. Kind to pigeons. And pensioners. Fed them in the park. Gave to charity. A proper gentleman."
Miss Mariella Blinkinstrop-Thrudd
- Hair Grey
- Eyes Blue
- Height 5' 10" / 178cm
- Weight 12 st 0 lbs / 76kg
- Body type Average
- Glasses Sometimes
- Ethnicity White
- Stance Wasn't listed as an option
- Qualifications a masters
- Situation Self Employed
- Income I'd rather not say
- Alcohol Light Drinker
- Smoking Non-smoker
- Diet No Special Diet
- Religion Spiritual, but I don't practice my religion
animals and antiques and arts and books and computers and cooking and countryside and cycling and DIY and family and health and movies and
music—listeningand outdoor activities and photography and spirituality and restaurants and theatre and travel
- Have No
- Want I don't want to have children
- Home I neither own nor rent my home
- Live With Alone