About Jake71

Jake71 is divorced and is seeking females for friendship or a serious relationship.

6’1” if I stand really straight and lie a tiny bit
Age: old enough to know better, young enough to do it anyway
Looking for: someone whose red flags are at least as interesting as mine
My superpowers include:
• turning “just one drink” into a personality trait
• parallel parking like it’s a competitive sport
• remembering useless 90s song lyrics at 3 a.m.
Dealbreakers:
• people who clap when the plane lands
• anyone who unironically says “live laugh love”
• pineapple-on-pizza evangelists (we can still be friends, just… far away)
Vibes I bring: golden-retriever energy with occasional black-cat sarcasm
Vibes I want: “yeah I’ll do something stupid with you at 2 a.m.” energy
If you can handle bad decisions, worse dance moves, and me calling you “trouble” as a term of endearment… slide into my DMs before I accidentally become a functional adult.
Your move, chaos coordinator 😈