About UpInTheClouds

UpInTheClouds is single and is seeking females for a serious relationship.

Good evening ladies! Thank you all for attending; I was sure the offer of free Cocoa and crisps would be hard to resist.

Now if you could all stand on that white line in front of you, we can begin, Ready? Off we go...!

1. All those miserable, moody, humourless people who make the world a dark place - take one step back. Wow.. almost half of you instantly eliminated there!

2. All those who are gold-diggers, free meal merchants, serial cheaters and only here to play the poor guy for what they can get - take one step backwards, Hmm.. another large chunk eliminated there too.

3. All those who only exist for restaurants and holidays and think of nothing else - take one step back. If you have a permanent orange Judith Chalmers tan then take two steps back just to be sure.

4. All those who only ever reply with 'yeh' and 'lol' to every message, expecting me to do all the work - take one step back. I am looking for actual conversation, not telegrams.

5. All those who have put zero effort into their profile and are only here while waiting for *insert favouite soap* to start - take one step back.

All done! Anyone still remaining on the white line has potential and can come for a drink with me.

*Later on, in the bar*
Barman: 'Good evening sir, nice to see you again'
Me: 'Hi Harry, my usual please'
Barman 'Certainly sir.. you on your own again?'
Me: 'Yup'