About SuboptimAl

SuboptimAl is widowed and is seeking females for friendship or a serious relationship.

My life has fallen apart quite frequently. In 2001, my American wife and I were living in the Chicago area. I was diagnosed with heart failure via a pre-employment medical. Still managed to work at my dream job (ask me!) for the next decade but in 2010 had to have a pacemaker/defibrillator implanted and went on disability. Became foster parents (no bio kids), but then a few years later my heart function improved and my disability income was stopped. We lost our home and foster care license. Managed to find a driving job to help support us - then started having dizzy spells... Finally, in December 2023 my wife was diagnosed with metastatic kidney cancer - she went on ahead on June 7th 2024. Since then I've been grieving, moved back to the UK, and now trying to figure out what's next. Looking for PT remote work.

Interests:
Music (Seventh Angel to Springsteen to Sibelius)
Quantum mechanics (look at your hand - what is actually there?)
Cheese (and food in general, but cheese...)
Watches (Einstein said time is an illusion...)
Almost ready to self-publish my first book...

Faith:
The road less travelled (fundie Protestant to Anglican to Catholic)
The stories are true, Don't throw the Baby out with the bathwater...

Financial status:
Broke, but beneficiary to accounts in the US

Politics:
Anything not driven by money and the creation of fear

Mountains, hills, forests and streams
Such things are always in my dreams
Music and books, science and time
Now all I need is a partner in rhyme
(I'm not a criminal)

Laughing at myself is on my list
I'm a bit daft - you get the gist
But my serious side is often close by
And sometimes I've even been known to cry

I like to eat but I'm a terrible cook
Love a nice pub with a scenic overlook
Truth be told I'm TOO fond of food
Being overweight sometimes ruins my mood

My greatest desire is to publish my writing
Life got in the way though - but I'm fighting
Which is good, because 'there's some light
left in the world, and it's worth fighting for'
(Tolkien, via the movies)

Honestly? I need a partner who has it together financially and isn't worried about opening her life to a guy who has been through some stuff. I am looking for permanent companionship, and the stability to focus on my writing as well as a suitable work from home job. I am wanting to get to know a special lady who is seeking something more than chatting and friendship. My late wife was my one and only - I offer absolute faithfulness, and not once in 25 years did I mistreat my dear wife physically. I am kind, gentle, generous, and a little (OK - a lot) goofy. I have never had a 'casual' relationship and am not looking to start now! I am not concerned by age (within reason - no-one under 40 need apply) or looks or disabilities. If you feel that you can thrive with an introvert who simply doesn't do loud, crazy social situations (apart from the occasional smaller gig) and can't/won't dance, then I'd love to hear from you... If you delight in visiting National Trust properties, watching the sea through the rain (or sun), poking round antique stores, staring at mountains through the trees, looking at photos of puppies on Facebook, hanging out at cosy pubs, all while listening to melodic music of all sorts... then send me a message. I am an ex-cigarette smoker, and currently use heated tobacco sticks (no lingering smell/ash/smoke) and vape. I cannot participate in strenuous physical activity, but am mobile other than that. In order to get my UK driving license renewed I need clearance from my Cardiologist.

Best wishes to you all in your search for your ideal match