Twelve autocorrects that can ruin your relationship
Autocorrect can be a wonderful thing, fixing typos and making your texts, emails, tweets and Facebook updates perfect - but it can also be a relationship ruiner, taking perfectly pleasant terms of endearment and making them terrifying - especially if the slang terms you've used in messages to friends have ended up being added to your phone's dictionary. Here are a dozen ways the internet claims autocorrect can ruin a relationship.
You meant: dimples
You sent: nipples
You like them. They like you. What's a nice compliment that can't possibly be taken the wrong way? Yep, "I love your dimples." Pity autocorrect turns that into "I love your nipples".
You meant: beside
You sent: inside
Parting is such sweet sorrow, so it's a good idea to make sure you don't prolong your time apart by texting "I can't wait to be inside you" when you meant "beside you".
You meant: boy shorts
You sent: boy scouts
Do you know what's really sexy? That's right. Boy shorts, the low-cut pants with a boyish cut that look just superb on the female form. Do you know what's really not sexy? Telling your partner "you know what's really sexy? Boyscouts."
You meant: the future
You sent: The Fuhrer
When your relationship's getting serious, it's natural to start thinking about the future - and it's equally natural to start running if your intended says they can't stop thinking about old mister Hitler.
You meant: chicken
You sent: children
There's no danger of scaring anyone when you're talking about what you like to eat - that is, unless your thumb slips and autocorrect replaces "chicken" with "children".
You meant: paid
You sent: laid
It's the weekend and you're feeling good. How good? Very good. Why? You got laid on Friday!
You meant: sudoku
You sent: sodomy
Sudoku is a recent phenomenon, and not all phones' dictionaries know about it. Sodomy has been around somewhat longer. Don't let autocorrect get its hands on "I just love sudoku!"
You meant: Mondays
You sent: man boobs
Some people find man boobs very attractive, but it's safe to say that most people don't. It's probably a good idea, then, to check that autocorrect hasn't changed "I've got a bad case of the mondays" to "I've got a bad case of manboobs".
You meant: home
You sent: gone
There are endless variations of this one. Make sure that when you say "I need you home right now", the little autocorrect gremlin doesn't change it it "gone" with hilarious consequences.
You meant: suggestions
You sent: sex gestures
"What do you want to do tonight?" "I'm open to sex gestures". Aren't we all?
You meant: your friend
You sent: your date
This one's a particular peril if your phone autocorrects email addresses or phone numbers, or if your best friend and your new partner have similar names: you meant to tell your pal all about your date, possibly exaggerating a few things or playing for laughs, but the message went to your date instead.
You meant: your date
You sent: your mum
Anticipation is a powerful aphrodisiac, so what could be more fun than sending your date a steamy message detailing exactly what you'd like to do to them this weekend, and sending it to your mum by accident?
We meant: to take a screenshot
We sent: I like your nipples
Here's a bonus one: when we were taking screenshots of our autocorrect fails, we accidentally texted "I love your nipples" to a very powerful businessman. Be careful out there!