About Woodentit

Woodentit's relationship status wasn't listed as an option and is seeking females for friendship or a casual relationship.

I’m back like a bad dose and ready to embrace this bell hole again. Hate this place with a passion but something in its spirit keeps drawing me back in.

Is it the thrill of the chase? Will she reply or not? That first view of her profile that gives me that old fashioned feeling that I’d do anything to bone her 😂😂😂

If you’re easily offended, or no chill or zero sense of humour, please pass me by.

Anyone else my inbox is open and ready for business x

Who am I I hear you ask, well it’s a good question.

I’m an esteemed British gentleman, well bread to the man or born. I can speak 14 languages, as long as they’re all English.

I can play any instrument, just not the bag pipes, they sound f**ing terrible to anyone. I can fashion any tree, any hedge into a perfectly shaped vulva.

In the days before medicine I survived gonorrhoea, chlamydia, the plague, club foot, yellow fever, night fever!!

Most importantly, and I must emphasise thee MOST important thing, and this is the most important thing about me…. I am a certified master coxman