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| |  | jaii |
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| | | | Sex | | Male - looking for females |
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| Location | | Leeds, yorkshire |
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| Age | | 49 |
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| Last Active | | Today |
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About jaii |
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Once apon a time thought I knew who I was, had a purpose for self with a clue to my cause. But then something happened and soon after its pause, I became so dismantled and broken down to my flaws.
One minute I was, me! The me that I ˜thought' that I was. Then the next all I could see, was not, me! Somehow, some way, I was made to look at myself for the first time in my life and without doubt or hesitation I knew I was fake, I couldn't believe it but suddenly knew I had to. What was going on? I was fast approaching a crisis of identity point and with not one single clue who I'd pick when I got there. This was serious sh*t happening and I swear it to God, I truly and completely felt as though I was actually going insane. I remember feeling so terrified with panic I actually/genuinely thought that I was going to, internally collapse, and from that point I knew I would never be coming back from it if I did.
You see, the truth is this and whether you believe it or not it's a fact that even God couldn't make a lie out of, the truth is this and it's your truth as well as mine so listen carefully, who I thought I was really wasn't me at all. As it turned out the me that I thought I really was, was a complete and utter phony. A totally despicable and constantly contrived creation of falsehood conceptualised in fear, subdued in control, said goodbyes to my soul, then I joined all the others and accepted my role, societies goal! To subdue and control, to delude and cajole, to detach from the whole. Disconnect to the soul, to make lamb from the foal. To imprison our freedoms without right to parole.
Who I thought I was, in effect, wasn't the me that was anything to do with me, if you know what I mean! I didn't choose to become the shallow and cold hearted callously manipulative control freak with a delighted penchant for causing pain and hurt in others. If I'd have been left alone and to my own natural devices, the me that I would have chosen to be would contain not a single one of any of the above and associated human negativities, not a single one and simple as. So I know for a pure and simple fact of Universal and absolute natural law, that the me I thought I was, was never my own and purely natural creation so therefore can never have been, me. The real me. That other one was a walking, breathing and living horrible lie. Manufactured and badly made up to resemble myself. Programmed by lies and fear to perform by command on societies say so. Fueled by the seething fumes of a bitterly resentful denial to soul. The real me, the true me that was denied my Divine right of life, it simply got lost inside a great big swirling swarm of lies that stung their poisonous venom's and paralysed my true senses from the neck up.
I hated being young. I knew something was badly wrong with it all when I was a child, I felt it. This real deep but distant truth in me and I felt instinctively a furious and vitriolic hatred of the blatant lies that were being imposed all over me. But I was only a wee boy and powerless to prevent any of it landing on me. I knew it was lies though, it was crap and utter garbage and I was being force fed it all so that I felt sick to my core when I ingested its foul stench into my being. Until eventually, I was successfully and fully cloned to forget and comply, without wonder or why, without function to pry, full compunction to lie, no compassion to cry, without freedom of choice but to do and then die.
My how I sigh but that thing, it wasn't I. Was a really big whopper of a pure fooking lie. Needless to say now of course, nothing nor no one on this planet will ever again affect or influence the real and true me that I will create, that I'm creating as I speak. I'll learn to never accept or tolerate any living influence unless I decide it's worthy of my beautiful company, end of and that plain and delightfully simple. No debate, like ever. End of story, well this little bit for now at least. Keep listening though, where I went next will make you think that Captain James T Kirk of the Star ship Enterprise and all his futuristic shenanigans were at least 500 gazillion light years out of date in comparison. Seriously, if you don't believe me just follow my words and I'll prove it.
You coming or what? |
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Interview with jaii |
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What do you like most about where you currently live?
It's quiet, safe and close some lovely country walks, river canal and woods right at the back of me. |
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What are your favourite leisure activities?
Love running, walking, and most outdoorsy stuff. |
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What would you do on an ideal date?
If we clicked just go with the flow of it all. |
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What are you looking for in a partner?
Don't know but I'll know if I feel it. |
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What makes a good relationship?
Two people who connect, simple! |
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What has been the highlight of your life so far?
My children making a man of me, finally. |
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Relationships |
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 | I am looking for friendship or a serious relationship. |
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| My relationship status is currently single. |
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Appearance |
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| My eye colour is hazel. |
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| My hair is bald / shaved. |
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| My body type is athletic. |
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| My height is 5' 11" / 180cm. |
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| My ethnic origin is white. |
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Politics |
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| I'm not interested in politics. |
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Qualifications |
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| My qualifications include GCSEs / O levels and a BTEC (or equivalent) and A levels (or equivalent). |
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Employment |
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| I'm self employed. |
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| I work in building / construction. |
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| My income is confidential. |
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Lifestyle |
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| I'm a light drinker. |
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| I'm a non-smoker. |
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| I don't follow any special diet. |
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| I am not disabled. |
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| I am spiritual. |
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| I don't practice my religion. |
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| My interests include countryside and dancing and family and gym and health and music—listening and outdoor activities and sport—playing. |
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Children |
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| I have children (sometimes living at home). |
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| I may want to have more children. |
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Housing |
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| I rent my home. |
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| My household was not listed as an option. |
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