Hello there and thank you for your visit.
If you are woke, dope or believe that a so called millennial is a special kind of person, then your journey should terminate here.
Similarly, if you are unable to say the word 'ask' without managing to swap the letters S and K, then further conversation would be rather fruitless.
Other social etiquettes, behavioural activities and quirks that are incompatible with mine, include the use of illegal drugs, excess alcohol consumption, feminazi traits, 0 to 1000 Mph in a second rage at the slightest offence, persistent snow-flaking, addictive gambling.
I shall dispense from using such common phrases such as 'no players or cheats', 'no bunny boilers', 'no gold diggers' and other such statements because on the last occasion that I requested such talents, I received exactly what was requested.
I DO NOT leave the toilet seat down unless the activity requires a more posterior positioning, so if it is such a chore to lower it, then you would be left in a rather frazzled state in no time at all.
Of course, if you happen to have a huge bottom then this may not be a requirement at all and additionally, will cause frequent rises in my blood pressure, expansion of my pupils and a regular hand warming exercise regime, which will naturally extend my life and therefore medically beneficial.
I feel it rather important that prospective future ex partners/wives reside within a reasonable distance such that popping round for a quickie does not feel like riding at Le Mans.
I class myself as a touchy feely person, so familiarity with Octopuses would be advantageous.
I am happy with my own company, so despite my possession of 8 tentacles, I am rarely clingy, unless you are covered in whipped cream.
Excitement would not be in prime position with regards to my personality traits but in suitable circumstances I am capable of delivering the requisite amount of fireworks.
Like a dog, I am loyal and dependable, although you will not be required to carry small plastic bags around when we go out. I cannot however, vouch for the condition of your leg when seated on the sofa.
I enjoy watching movies and have been particularly conditioned such that I can happily watch the generally male orientated genres, as well as shed tears at the correct moments when viewing 'chick flicks'.
You will have observed at this juncture that my use of the term 'chick flick' clearly indicates that I am not PC observant.
PC is personal computer, not a forced doctrine designed to curtail freedom of thought and expression, at least that is until you check my browser history and banish my PC.
I am not religious in any way, shape or form, unless you consider the worship of bacon and egg sandwiches, in which case, frequent sacrificial visitations to the holy frying pan are commanded by the gods.
Because I am unable to rationalise the existence of a deity that nobody has a shred of real evidence to show it's existence, to me, such beliefs belong in the same categories as those that believe in fairies at the bottom of their garden or that aliens live amongst us.
Therefore if you are of a religious persuasion then I am highly unlikely to be of interest to you, unless you are a Scientologist, in which case I will mock you mercilessly.
Throughout my whole life. I have always valued an independent woman, despite the false modern rhetoric that anybody over the age of 30 must be a misogynistic dinosaur.
Strong and confident women have existed en mass throughout human history and the genuine ones never feel the requirement to broadcast their strength to all and sundry. They simply demonstrate through their actions.
This means that if you are of a dominant natural persuasion or similar then please join the front of the queue as I am well versed in practising both sides of the same proverbial coin.
I consider myself to be of moderate intelligence and will often reach £64000 on Who Wants to nearly be a millionaire only to to have hopes and dreams dashed.
I do not consider myself to be a mans man, instead preferring to demonstrate more of a sensitive nature, apart from those occasions where swinging from the chandelier automatically invokes beating of chest and Tarzan style bellows and behaviour. So if you happen to be a Jane, then you may be invited to swing from my vine.
If you wish to know more then please fill out the appropriate application form and I shall evaluate accordingly.
As an aside, you may notice that this site has a forum for discussion of a wide variety of subjects from the serious to the mundane and mucky and new contributors are always welcomed, even if, on occasion, a flack jacket may be required.
What do you like most about where you currently live?
It is quiet and yet close to all the amenities that I need.
What do you enjoy most about your current job?
It pays me enough to live on.
What are your favourite leisure activities?
Walking, golf, debating.
Where in the world are your favourite places?
New Zealand, USA, Devon
Where in the world would you love to visit?
Australia, Hong Kong
What would you do on an ideal date?
Go somewhere quiet but public where there is an opportunity to chat and get to know one another.
What are you looking for in a partner?
Somebody that can put up with a know it all.
What makes a good relationship?
Complete honesty about who you are in terms of personality traits and faults.
What music do you like?
Mostly classic rock and blues.
Most things from AC/DC through ZZ-Top.
What has been the highlight of your life so far?
It is always yet to come.
- Hair Dark Brown
- Eyes Brown
- Height 5' 10" / 178cm
- Weight 14 st 0 lbs / 89kg
- Body type Average
- Glasses Sometimes
- Ethnicity White
- Stance No Interest
GCSEs / O levelsand A levels (or equivalent)
- Situation Employed
- Income I'd rather not say
- Alcohol Light Drinker
- Smoking Light
- Diet No Special Diet
- Religion Not religious, but I don't practice my religion
books and cars and computers and cooking and countryside and cycling and DIY and gardening and gym and health and movies and
music—listeningand outdoor activities and photography and pubs and restaurants and sport—watchingand travel and TV
- Have No
- Want I don't want to have children
- Home I own my home
- Live With Alone