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About MajorBloodnok |
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Marx is round at Engels house for a cup of tea - after a while he needs to use the toilet. He pops off to Engels' bathroom, and comes back looking a bit confused - "Here, Friedrich, sweet'eart, every time I flush your lav, I hear beautiful classical music - why's that?"
"Ah", says Engels "That'll be the violins inherent in the cistern..."
Etc yawn |
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Interview with MajorBloodnok |
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What do you like most about where you currently live?
Like? You must be joking. It has a roof, some walls and a floor. In addition, it's nowhere near The Lost City Of The Wailing Undead.
It's also handy for the main shops, which sell most household essentials - crab inflators, corduroy pianos and the like.
However, that was BEFORE it burnt down. |
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What do you enjoy most about your current job?
The fast car, and selling the stolen goods afterwards. |
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What are your favourite leisure activities?
Inflating turnips. Being fed grapes while servants fan me with palm-leaves. Playing the Alpine Horn. Running away from people who hear me playing the Alpine Horn. |
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Where in the world are your favourite places?
Utopia. The escape tunnel under Alcatraz. 'Honest Ron's Second-Hand Goods'.
(Paris and Leeds. Been down and out in both). |
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Where in the world would you love to visit?
They say Earth's quite nice this time of year.
(Both poles, north and south. Really). |
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What would you do on an ideal date?
Pretend someone has stolen my wallet.
(Talk and laugh). |
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What are you looking for in a partner?
Gullibility, legs, arms and a chin. Eccentricity is a nice thought. |
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What makes a good relationship?
The absence of rabies in both parties.
(From experience? A shared sense of humour). |
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What makes you laugh?
A volume of air coming out of the lungs.
(Spike Milligan, Marx Brothers, Father Ted etc. Idiotic, in other words). |
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What music do you like?
Robespierre Neutron's Ukelele All-Stars, George Formby and 'Mantovani plays Black Sabbath' |
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What has been the highlight of your life so far?
Not being found out.
(Quite a few, but as with most 'highlights', they belong to me). |
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What are you looking forward to in the future?
Sooty And Sweep (ITV, 4.30)
(Which idiot thought of THAT question???) |
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What's the cube root of 64?
4 |
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Relationships |
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 | I am looking for friendship or a serious relationship. |
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| My relationship status is currently single. |
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Appearance |
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| My eye colour is blue. |
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| My hair is light brown. |
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| My body type is slim. |
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| My height is 6' 0" / 183cm. |
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| My ethnic origin is white. |
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Politics |
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| My politics are left of centre. |
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Qualifications |
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| My qualifications include GCSEs / O levels and A levels (or equivalent) and a degree and a masters. |
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Employment |
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| I'm employed. |
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| I work in scientific. |
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| My income is confidential. |
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Lifestyle |
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| I'm a light drinker. |
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| I'm a non-smoker. |
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| I don't follow any special diet. |
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| I am not disabled. |
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| I am agnostic. |
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| I don't practice my religion. |
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| My interests include animals and books and computers and movies and music—listening and music—making and photography and pubs and spirituality and sport—watching and travel. |
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Children |
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| I don't have any children. |
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| I don't want to have children. |
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Housing |
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| I rent my home. |
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| I live alone. |
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